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.......................... Virtues of the pipe

"I hated tobacco. I could have almost lent my support
to any institution that had for its object the putting of
tobacco smokers to death... I now feel that smoking in
moderation is a comfortable and laudable practice, and
is productive of good. There is no more harm in a pipe
than in a cup of tea. You may poison yourself by
drinking too much green tea, and kill yourself by eating
too many beefsteaks. For my part, I consider that
tobacco, in moderation, is a sweetener and equalizer of
the temper."
-Thomas Henry Huxley

"The fact is, squire, the moment a man takes to a pipe,
he becomes a philosopher. It's the poor man's friend; it
calms the mind, soothes the temper, and makes a man
patient under difficulties. It has made more good men,
good husbands, kind masters, indulgent fathers, than
any other blessed thing on this universal earth."
-"Sam Slick, the clockmaker"

"A pipe is the fountain of contemplation,
the source of
pleasure, the companion of the wise; and the man who
smokes, thinks like a philosopher and acts like a
-Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

"Pipe smoking is the most protracted
of all forms of
tobacco consum- ption. it may explain why pipe
smokers are generally regarded as patient men--
and philosophers."
-Jerome E. Brooks, from The Mighty Leaf,
Tobacco                         Through the Centuries

"There is no composing draught like the draught
through the tube of a pipe."
-Captain Frederick Marryat

"A pipe is to the troubled soul
what caresses of a
mother are for her suffering child."
-Indian Proverb

"Pipe: a primary masculine symbol
with authoritarian
overtones but also indicative of reliability and
-The Dictionary of Visual Language, 1980

"The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the
philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of the foolish; it
generates a style of conversation, contemplative,
thoughtful, benevolent, and unaffected..."
-William Makepeace Thackeray, from The Social Pipe

"Tobacco-smoke is the one element in which, by our
European manners, men can sit silent together without
embarrassment, and where no man is bound to speak
one word more than he has actually and veritably got
to say. Nay, rather every man is admonished and
enjoined by the laws of honor, and even of personal
ease, to stop short of that point; at all events, to hold
his peace and take to his pipe again, the instant he has
spoken his meaning, if he chance to have any. The
results of which salutary practice, if introduced into
Constitutional Parliaments, might evidently be
incalculable. The essence of what little intellect and
insight there is in that room: we shall or can get
nothing more out of any Parliament; and sedative,
gently soothing, gently clarifying tobacco-smoke
(if the room were well ventilated, open atop, and the
air kept good), with the obligation to a MINIMUM of
speech, surely gives human intellect and insight the
best chance they can have. Best chance, instead of
the worst chance as at present: ah me, ah me, who
will reduce fools to silence again in any measure?
Who will deliver men from this hideous nightmare
of Stump-Oratory, under which the grandest Nations
are choking to a nameless death, bleeding (too truly)
from mouth and nose and ears, in our sad days?"
- Thomas Carlyle, "TOBACCO PARLIAMENT"

- History of Friedrich II, excerpt from Chapter 7.
For a delightful look into the smoke-filled Prussian
court life:

Cigarettes are a one-night-stand.
Cigars are a short-term acquaintance.
Ahh, but a pipe is like a good marriage
or close friendship.
Pipes are not used once and thrown away.
Pipes are not status symbols packaged with
expensive wines and Armani suits –
requisite accoutrements for models on the covers
of fashion magazines.
Pipes are, in the end, close confidants in times of
confusion, consolers in times of loneliness or
loss, and comrades with which to celebrate times
of happiness and prosperity.

- J. Sheldon Smith - "Frogmorton"
"Nowhere in the world will
such a brotherly feeling of
confidence be experienced as
amongst those who sit
together smoking their
- The Results and
Merits of Tobacco,  1844 -
Doctor Barnstein
Englisman Basil to Zorba the Greek...

"Put down that cigarette," he said. "You light
it , smoke half of it and you throw off it like
a hooker. Your love lasts only a minute. This
is a shameful thing to do! Marry a pipe! She
is a faithful woman. When you go home, she
will still be quietly waiting for you to return."

- Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazancakis, page
57 (from a Turkish translation)
"Harumph! I don't
approve of smoking!"

said the stuffy old
matron as I lit my pipe.
"My husband is sixty
years old and has
never put a pipe in
his mouth."

"That's odd,"
I replied.
"I'm sixty years old and
have never dreamt
of putting mine
anywhere else."
JWL III & 'bash - 1991
... to the ridiculous.
From the sublime...